Sometimes You Have to Call It.

I watched my oldest daughter try her tuck again and again. Falling on her knees over and over. She wants it so bad. She wants it in time for try outs. It kept getting worse and she got more and more frustrated.

Finally as her mother I had to stop her. I knew how bad she wanted it. She had been there working on her own for an extra half hour past privates. I also knew what she was blinded to in that moment. Sometimes you can work and work and get nowhere. Sometimes you have to walk away and leave it for another day. I walked over to my frustrated girl and told her" sweetheart I'm going to have to call it on this one. I know how bad you want to get it but your mind isn't in the right place and it is making your body follow. Let's let it go for today and work on it again next time." I could see she was disappointed but she agreed.

My oldest girl is so much like her mother. She thinks if she doesn't get something it is because she isn't working hard enough. She puts loads of pressure on herself. As her mother it is my job to protect her.

When your child is trying so hard and not getting what she wants it is heartbreaking. However, if we let them keep going we are doing them a disservice. It is our job to teach them balance. I want her to know that perfection isn't the goal. Progress is the goal. I want her to know that her worth isn't based on her tumbling skills. 

Then I told her what I feel was the most important thing. I told her that I was so proud of her. I was so proud of her for working so hard. I was so proud of her for being so driven and for not giving up. 

Don't let your child get over frustrated. Don't let them think their worth is based on their tumbling. My goal in my life is to be my children's biggest fan. To give them every opportunity to be their best. I don't live through my children however. I do my best not to let what I want them to be get in the way of who they are. 

Don't be afraid as a mom to tell your child it's time to walk away. They need your guidance because no one loves them more than you.

Cheers, 

Fallapartitude

Like my title? It came from Doc McStuffins. Lol I tend to have fallapartitude. I don't do anything small. I wait till I get super overwhelmed and then I freak out and fall apart. Then I throw up my hands and quit? Does anyone know me else have this problem or is it just me? I need to start eating the elephant one bite at a time and stop trying to shove the whole thing in my mouth at once. Lol

When i woke up this morning I had a major melt down. I screamed in my head. Why can't I keep my house clean? I am a terrible mother. Why does everyone else seem to have this all figured out. Oh and tip don't search overwhelmed by housework on Pinterest. It isn't really helpful. Lol So here is what I have realized.

1.  Find what works for you and do it. There is no cookie cutter way to be a good housewife. Everyone is at different stages with different challenges. I babysit a 2 year old. He fills my day. It's hard to clean with a two year old. This is a challenge. I also have two girls in competition cheer. My evenings Monday through Friday are spent at the cheer gym. That is a challenge.

2. Make a schedule. Don't be super rigid. Just an overall goal. It helps. As a stay at home mom I get lazy. I think to myself that I have all day to complete a task. I tend to sit and cuddle with the two year old and put off tasks.

Oh and build cuddle time and down time into your schedule.  You aren't a machine.

3. Use a calendar. My schedule is so chaotic I can't live without my calendar. Check it each morning and each evening and don't say yes to anything until you check your calendar. Also make sure you give yourself days off. Make sure you have a day with nowhere you have to be once in awhile. I tend to over schedule because I hate to say no. However, if I don't have a down day now and then I will get overwhelmed and fallapartitude rears its ugly head.

4. Keep it simple. I love all of the cool ideas on Pinterest but I can't do everything. Most people don't really care that much how fancy you wrap something or how cool your item for the gift bags are. They are just happy you did something. Use your talents and be yourself. 

5 . Know your limits. Don't try to be anyone but you. I will never be the mom with perfect hair and makeup and jewelry. I have my own gifts. I am the Mom who will make you laugh with tales of her chaos.  

6. Life is short. Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much.  Children grow up fast. They will remember the moments you spent with them and laughter way more than how fancy your crafting was or how awesome you cleaning is. I was at the cheer gym and this sweet little six year old asked me what I was doing. I said I was reading a book on how to keep my house clean. She said"  Why are you doing that? Our house is messy and I love it!" Keep this in mind. My motto is I want my house clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy. 

So there are my tips for avoiding fallapartitude. 

Cheers,

A Little About Me

Two years ago when my oldest daughter decided to try all star cheerleading I was lost. I felt like I was in a foreign country! I didn't know the language. Words like full,  poof , cradle and basket, they had totally different meanings for me.

 I was a tomboy growing up. I know more about football than some men, I played softball and track, and I hated anything pink or girly! As I have gotten older I have tried to become more girly but it is slow going. My oldest daughter is a true girly girl, if it is pink and sparkles she loves it! She is a diva from birth. She has taken me out of my comfort zone her entire life. Lol 

For years my oldest son played football and my girls cheered for the rec team. I always described myself as a football Mom who happened to have cheerleaders. I never sat with the cheer moms and had very little to talk to them about. Just when I had to know something. I didn't feel like I belonged with their face nails, and freshly done hair. They seemed to live through their children. I was sure all of them were former cheerleaders themselves. Something I had never been. ( Remember this is what I assumed. I never actually spoke to any of them)

Then I walked into the all star cheer gym. I admit I had no clue what I was in for. I had heard that this gym was a great place for cheer and I just walked in with no clue what all star cheer was.

So here I am surrounded by bling and bows and feeling very overwhelmed. 

The other thing you should know about me is that I will do anything for my kids. My oldest loved cheer.  The girl was born for it! So of course I am going to take her to the best program I can find. 

From the first moment she was hooked! This was right up her ally. A place to challenge herself while being able to sparkle at the same time. Lol 

The first time I had to make a poof it took me a long long time and it stood very tall. I put on the make up and thought that I had just made my daughter look like the Joker! 

I was stressed every competition because I felt so out of my element. I knew I would forget something or get something wrong. I was certain everyone felt sorry for daughter. 

The wonderful thing is I was completely wrong about cheer moms.  There was always another mom willing to help.  As I said, I had preconceived notions of cheer moms. I thought they were all stuck up ex cheerleaders and mean girls. For the first month at least I barely spoke to any of them. I was so wrong. Whenever I felt overwhelmed or lost another Mom was always there to help. It really is like a big family. I now count them as some of my dearest friends.

So here I am two seasons in with both daughters in cheer. It has taken over my life. There really is nothing like it! It is a lifestyle. If you aren't involved in it you will never truly understand it. I spend four to six days a week in the gym with one daughter or the other. I make no plans from November through April. The rest of my family knows that they will see us Thanksgiving and Christmas and not much more until April. I know the language now and have watched more YouTube videos of cheer teams and routines than I can even count. I follow so many cheer pages on Facebook and Twitter it is ridiculous. Lol To see your daughter so passionate about something she works her butt off at it is a true joy. It is really indescribable. 

They would rather be at the gym than home most days. They constantly want to do more classes to work on their skills. I swear if they had a twiddle your thumbs class at our gym I am certain my oldest would take it.  I have never seen so many dedicated children at such young ages. And it just isn't that they work hard. They turn them into leaders. My daughters are confident, hard working , student athletes. 

All star cheer has changed our life. I wouldn't change a moment of it!

Cheers,